


A Shining Ray of Hope

by blastofhystic (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst, Character Development, Crying Eren Yeager, Emotions, Eren Yeager Loves Levi, Established Relationship, Historical Inaccuracy, How Do I Tag, I Don't Know Where This Is Going, Levi Loves Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Relationship Development, Soldier Eren Yeager, Soldier Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), World War I, also a lot, as little plot as possible, i am going to try to make it go somewhere though, if it even is going anywhere, levi deserves to be happy, very little background details
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/blastofhystic
Summary: Amongst dead eyes attached to dead expressions attached to dead bodies, Levi meets Eren, a shining ray of hope in a hopeless war.A story about finding the will to live and dealing with loss. And probably other things because I don't know what I'm going to do with this. I suck at summaries.





	A Shining Ray of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to make the focus be around the interactions between Levi and Eren because that's the only thing I planned out. The actual plot i was forced to write so the interactions would make sense. It's completely unrealistic and in itself doesn't make any sense nor does it correlate w/ what actually happened in WWI. By the way, I took world history last year I just remember dick all. So maybe treat this like a war using WWI weapons & battle strategies. 
> 
> No idea where this is going, if you'd like to know, stick around to find out. 
> 
> Jet lag is kicking my ass right now and I don't know what a coherent sentence is anymore?? Just really needed to crank this out bc how emotional proposal videos have made me. Apologies in advance for bad grammar and in general bad quality writing
> 
> Just a lil warning, Levi does mention a period where he was mentally unstable and refers to it as "depressed, suicidal... i never bothered to find out" and he brings up the possibility of suicide and states it would have likely happened to him. Not trying to downplay mental illness, just trying to portray the aloof manner in which he viewed that period of his life, further emphasize his loss of hope, etc. It's not too important to the story. 
> 
> AnYWAYS, I think my a/n might be longer than the chapter itself. Thank you all for reading, I hope you all walk away with a little something from this!

He has asked Erwin if someone were to _hypothetically_ invade the enemy's trenches, and that someone _hypothetically_ blew up the supplies that were condensed into a single area at the back of their territory, and that someone _hypothetically_ succeeded, what implications it might have for the war. And he had learned that they could turn the stalemate around. And he had learned that this could easily lead to the end of the war. And he already knew that the end of the war meant that Eren could go home.

Thus he decided what he would be doing the following night.

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And so Levi did the impossible. He did the impossible, and was halfway across no man's land when he heard the boom signaling that his bomb had gone off. Seconds later he heard the shots. Keeping his body to the ground to avoid the barbwire, he tried to scramble back to his own side. But Levi was human, and he had hundreds of men shooting at him. It was impressive that he even managed to avoid the inevitable for long enough to have the trench so close within his grasps when 3 bullets finally hit their mark.

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The lack of warmth that Eren had gotten so used to woke him up in the middle of the trenches that night. When the realization that Levi's warm body was replaced with a pillow in his place. Normally he wouldn't be too worried, he knew Levi could take care of himself. He was easily the best soldier on the entire front. But a strange feeling of unease that filled his guts had him up in seconds. He knew Levi wasn't assigned to the front of the trenches that night, so he searched in other places. He dressed in his uniform, because his regular clothes were far too smelly to be acceptable for wear. Living in trenches did not justify clothes that could probably singe off every single nose hair within a 10 foot radius. After dressing, he checked the bathrooms, the meeting room, their usual hang out spot. He conceded that Levi was probably okay if he had the mind to place a pillow in his wake when he left, but the feeling of unease still bothered him.

Suddenly, he heard a boom, soon followed by gunshot sounds, all coming from the other side of the front. He sighed as he heard the commotion around him, knowing that along with everyone else he would have to go to the front of the trench. Knowing that wherever Levi was he'd be preparing to do the same. Eren quickly ran to grab his helmet and gun near his barracks, thanking his shit scented clothes for being the reason he was already dressed in uniform. He had hoped that he might be able to catch Levi somewhere along his route, but ended up being disappointed.

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"Is that Levi?!"

"Holy shit somebody go help him down into the trench"

"Marlowe go do it"

"Fine, ugh"

"Wait has he been shot?"

"Oh, yeah, one in the leg... one in the ribs... and one in the arm... Jesus he's heavy"

"The hell was he doing?"

"Guys he's bleeding out bad, we better get Commander Erwin"

"Doesn't look like he's gonna make it"

"Really??"

"Aw fuck everyone keeps on dying"

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"Eren, Erwin told me to get you... Levi got shot and he's in the hospital..."

"He fucking what?!"

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"No. N-no. Levi. Oh no no no no." Eren's hands were shaking as he brought them to Levi's face. "Why?? Levi _why_?" He tried to keep the tears at bay, but when his eyes travelled down to the bullet holes littering Levi's body his efforts proved futile. The very body that he'd caressed in bed two nights ago. The very body that held his own when he woke up sobbing from a nightmare later that night. The very body that he'd woken up to yesterday morning. And suddenly those happy memories were transformed into lasts. When they passed through his mind, a wave of despair, rather than happiness, drowned him. Eren couldn't look at Levi any longer, head falling and eyes scrunching closed, trying to run away from reality.

But when Levi's voice brought him back, making his head shoot up and his eyes blink open. 

"E-eren... I... I've left so many things unsaid... but I need to tell you this. I-I've never told you about my life before I met you. To put it lightly, I wasn't ok. Whether I was depressed, suicidal... i never bothered to find out. All I knew was that I was living because it was just slightly more appealing than death. I might as well have been dead. One day I saw a sign trying to attract recruits for the military. A sign that likely went ignored by every passerby interested in preserving their life. Who knows what about it hit me, maybe it was the prospect of going into battle not knowing whether I'd come out alive, a death that wasn't suicide (which was bound to happen to me sooner or later). Maybe I thought if I got close enough to death then I'd finally be alive. Maybe I thought I'd get gratification. Who knows. But I entered the military and got none of those things.

"Then the war began. Hundreds of thousands were enlisted without consent, forced to abandon the fulfilling lives they'd spent so much time building. You were among them. Previously, I had been surrounded by youths seeking adventure, looking to explore the world. But on our next deployment, I was surrounded by dead eyes attached to dead expressions attached to dead bodies. I was just another dead body among thousands. I spent three years sitting on a cliff with death right below me, waiting everyday to fall over the edge.

"And then I met you. It sounds cheesy, but I saw your bright fucking eyes, and it was like an explosion of colors. Like I'd been seeing the world in different shades of gray until I saw you. I looked you in the eyes, and for the first time I saw a glimmer of hope. So I ran after you. I chased you. And somehow I caught up to you. And suddenly I was living. I was living. And I was so so happy. You freed me, Eren. And for a year I was no longer waiting for death, I was waiting to leave this shitty war with you. But nothing ever happened, we just sat in our trench, achieving nothing but meaningless deaths. But your eyes didn't get any less bright... they got brighter. Amongst deader eyes attached to deader expressions attached to deader bodies, you were a beacon. Eren. You gave me dreams, aspirations and you made me want to achieve them. You made me want to be happy. You made me want to live. But most of all, you made me want all those things for you. And you've taught me to fight for the things I want. So please please go live, and inspire other people the same way you inspired me."

Eren latched on to every word, unable to interrupt like he usually would. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew that Levi was, in a sense, trying to give him the strength to keep living. That he was spending his last breaths telling him these things, spilling his heart out to him. That he needed to cherish this moment. But the emotional part of his brain couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"LEVI YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME. I-... " his voice was slowly dissolving into sobs. "I-I was going to introduce you to my family, show you my mother's grave, make you the shitty black tea you've told me about.... I love you Levi. I love you I love you I love you. I love you, and I wanted to live the rest of my life out with you..."

He took a deep breath and it was like a dam broke. Wretched sobs escaped his throat uncontrollably. He tried to stay strong for Levi, he tried so hard. But he was losing the thing he cherished most right beneath his eyes, and he could do little more than just watch.

For the first time, Levi saw hopelessness in Eren's green orbs. But he knew Eren would keep on fighting. Knew because they'd shared so many memories. Because he'd seen Eren fighting hopeless battles in the trenches before.

As for himself, Levi knew that he'd finally escaped the endless cycle that had drained so much of his life. He'd experienced emotions he forgot even existed. He'd fallen in love. And he'd given Eren a chance to live through this shitty war. 

With that knowledge, Levi smiled. Really truly smiled. He reached up caressing Eren's face as he felt the life leaving him. "Th-thank you. For loving me. For being someone I could love with so much more passion than I can comprehend. Ere..."

And the love of his life was the last thing he saw before his voice stopped working mid sentence, his lungs stopped working mid breath, and his heart stopped working mid beat.

**Author's Note:**

> Also just a heads up Levi isn't gone forever. I love him too much to do that. Maybe reincarnation? Going into the past? Neither of those? SOrry for not having anything figured out T_T. 
> 
> There WILL be relationship development though, because that was SEVERELY lacking in this chapter.


End file.
